Once upon a time I heard something on TV that caused my heart to hurt.
Two people discussing life and the intricacies and difficulties of parenthood. Sharing their failures and accomplishments, their dreams and hopes. And after all that, she sighed and said..."We're all they have. And it's not enough."
"Not enough." Two words that pretty much summed it all up. Describing how I felt in the shortest way possible.
Not:
patient enough
loving enough
loved enough
wise enough
old enough
whole enough
I've never felt like I was ready to be a parent. After all, it was thrust upon me at 19 years of age. I was in no way mature enough to know what to do or what was expected of me. I was not enough.
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